Saturday, November 8, 2008

Hawk-Eye: The Fabulous and The Vile of the week just gone

FABULOUS:

  • The delicious, divine, trannie- DJ Wandas Birthday at Tabac on Wednesday. The woman has the set-list worthy of the most prodigal muso-nerd and the wardrobe of a young Elizabeth Taylor. Perfectly she sits propped in the DJ Booth, sans headphones, with a red light beaming on her face a la Blaire Witch Project, belting out Kate Bush and rare Bronski Beat tracks. The perfect mixture of Apocalypse, sex, glamour, hell and good grooming...............Also it seems possible Tabac have the most attractive and relevant bar staff in Auckland.....

  • Jo Galvin and Leah Forsyth's new Gallery Space "Liberty" on Symonds Street. Well Fucking Done Lady! The place teemed with the Pretty and Young, with enough Booze to satisfy the most Piss-headed, served by the swellest looking boy in Zambesi slouch-pants, rosary beads, and come-fuck-me-eyes.....Eats were by Favourite Faggy Ponsonby Pizza-man (and incidentally owner of the loveliest Penis this side of Vincent Gallo) Johnny of il Buco.......Nice touch.....

  • Charlie Ashes as yet unreleased single "Come Back Lover". Stolen by your blogger from the home of groundbreakingly hot Les couple Mailee and Hannah, the whole song tinkles and glitters with addictive and polished Pop sensibilities....Soon to be heard on the lips of every forward thinking musically enlightened person with a scrap of taste....

  • Meggie, Meggie, Meggie at Chelsea Boys. Storming in like a Bull in a china-shop draped in purple Miss Crabb, the bitch could outdance Jennifer-fucking-Beals. One day we will all be fashioning statues in her likeness and kissing her toes.....
VILE:

  • The new haircut of Horrid Homo and some-time Drag Queen we will call "Behind-your-back-Barry". It appears years of bitter, low-rent scathing remarks are finally making this Fag look as terrible on the outside as he is on the inner...Paybacks a Bitch right? The development of an extra chin isn't helping either.....
  • Ink and Coherent Bar. For Fucks sake where are the Terrorists when you need them? The creme of Aucklands Cunt Class gather here and seem to conspire to create the WORST night for anyone who walks through the door....even the Karaoke Room doesn't save it...Fundamentalist Muslims, this is a Sitting Duck if Ive ever seen one......
  • "Exam" time. Please, Please, Please Shut Up. If you're stupid enough to think it entirely vital to pass English 101 "Desire: A fundamental Question?" then its you're funeral, but don't bore me to tears with your test time-table. I really don't give a shit, and shouldn't you be highlighting photocopied bits of paper at Starbucks or something?

37 comments:

Rebecca said...

It's English 107 - Poetry, Prose and Drama: The Nature of Desire. I took that paper. We actually studied exerpts from Mills and Boon novels. Quality education, University of Auckland.

Shaun Thomas McGill said...

So So So sorry Babes. It's just that I slipped and fell in the puddle of self-righteous, gimmicky, industry-circulating bullshit that was streaming out of my University of Auckland Prospectus.

i must of got my numbers and names ALL MIXED UP!

Luckily, as I was heavily concussed, there was a Taxi driver on hand to take me to the A&E. Its soooo funny actually, because he had exactly the same degree that you probably have, only it was from Iran, and means even less of a sweet buggery shit than an A.U Bachelor of Arts...if you can imagine.

The "Quality" education you speak of often leads to one spending a lot of time at the "Quality Inn". This is the divine three star accomodation the Boss that you hate in the job that you hate will supply you with when you travel on business to Rotorua.

Or I guess theres always teaching?

Noelle said...

My new favourite blog! This is priceless Shaun, that pie story could be straight out of Evelyn Waugh.

Well done that fag! More please. xxx

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